Patent Pending

Red light = sad Simon

"Every baby falls asleep in the car."
"My baby loved car rides."
"When my daughter was upset, we'd just stick her in the car and drive around until she calmed down."

These are things I was told before Simon was born. I believed them. I believed that every baby loves the car. Poor Simon is not every baby. He HATES car rides. He screams and screams and screams in the car. Sometimes, he screams himself to sleep. Most times, he just drives us batty and then falls asleep as soon as we take him out of the car.

Yesterday, I drove home from my parents farm. Simon was asleep for the first half of the trip but, woke up as soon as we hit the first red light in town. Of course, with my luck, we managed to hit every single red light (one twice thanks to a traffic back-up due to construction). With every stop light, the howls wind up and get louder. He almost gets a grip on things and then we hit another red light. Yeesh... my kid has lungs.

I've decided that I should invent some sort of device to project Simon's screaming into traffic. It can act as a type of siren. Everyone who hears it will realize that I am driving an irrational, inconsolable infant and will get out of my way. This "siren" will give me the power to speed (a revved up engine helps calm the kid) and run red lights without punishment. Actually, everyone will feel better because then, I am taking the siren noise away from them.

I need to figure out how to get some flashing lights to go with my Simon Siren. I'll let you know when these go on the market... until then, I'll just wear the earplugs my mom gave me and pop some extra Tylenol.