It's been over a year.
Why the silence?
Honestly, since Laurie died, I haven't been as interested in blogging. Blogging was something we did together - it was a common interest. She's gone and I didn't want to talk about it or how I felt about the huge gap she'd left in my life. I tried but, it wasn't the same. There's not a lot that's been the same. Reinventing who I am without one of my closest friends hasn't been easy. Grief is still fresh and there's still a lot that triggers tears.
However, I miss writing. I have a million ideas and thoughts that swirl around and this blog was an excellent outlet for them. I think I need to start again. :)
During the gap, I had a pile of adventures and tried some new things. I started Boot Camp on my 34th B-day. I felt the urge to reclaim my control over my health in a positive way. I started calorie counting and I was starting to recognize the familiar feeling of controlling my food intake and the negative associations I can have with eating. I'm not 14 anymore and I have a better sense of myself. Boot Camp challenges me to work hard to be a fit and strong Momma and not a starved, grumpy lady.
I directed a musical. I think this is hilarious because I don't sing or dance. However, I was able to be a part of very dynamic and creative community. Really, drama is mostly about bringing like-minded kids together and building them up. I love doing this! (Also, Simon, Claire and I now have the soundtrack of Beauty and Beast memorized.)
We camped and we played in parks all summer. We had Christmas and birthdays and 2 new nephews. Our family grew and so did our own kiddos. They're HUGE. We went to Maui with my entire family and we soaked in the sun together and made memories. It was bliss!
Si started soccer and play school. Claire danced. Neither kid passed the Salamander level of swimming. I think Claire was actually told to back to Sea Otter. :) They are in such a neat time of life. They are so independent and yet, they still need us so much.
I feel like I'm running on empty most days. I feel like I give a lot to my students, my drama kids, my own kids, my husband and my house and sometimes I'd rather just sit in a sunbeam and read a book and drink some tea. However, that's not the season of life I am in. I am in the "crazy, run like a mad woman, give it everything you've got season."
That's probably all I have to say about my "gap". I'm just going to carry on from where I'm at currently.
