Silence

It's been over a year.

Why the silence?

Honestly, since Laurie died, I haven't been as interested in blogging. Blogging was something we did together - it was a common interest. She's gone and I didn't want to talk about it or how I felt about the huge gap she'd left in my life. I tried but, it wasn't the same. There's not a lot that's been the same. Reinventing who I am without one of my closest friends hasn't been easy. Grief is still fresh and there's still a lot that triggers tears.

However, I miss writing. I have a million ideas and thoughts that swirl around and this blog was an excellent outlet for them. I think I need to start again. :)

During the gap, I had a pile of adventures and tried some new things. I started Boot Camp on my 34th B-day. I felt the urge to reclaim my control over my health in a positive way. I started calorie counting and I was starting to recognize the familiar feeling of controlling my food intake and the negative associations I can have with eating. I'm not 14 anymore and I have a better sense of myself. Boot Camp challenges me to work hard to be a fit and strong Momma and not a starved, grumpy lady.

I directed a musical. I think this is hilarious because I don't sing or dance. However, I was able to be a part of very dynamic and creative community. Really, drama is mostly about bringing like-minded kids together and building them up. I love doing this! (Also, Simon, Claire and I now have the soundtrack of Beauty and Beast memorized.)

We camped and we played in parks all summer. We had Christmas and birthdays and 2 new nephews. Our family grew and so did our own kiddos. They're HUGE. We went to Maui with my entire family and we soaked in the sun together and made memories. It was bliss!

Si started soccer and play school. Claire danced. Neither kid passed the Salamander level of swimming. I think Claire was actually told to back to Sea Otter. :) They are in such a neat time of life. They are so independent and yet, they still need us so much.

I feel like I'm running on empty most days. I feel like I give a lot to my students, my drama kids, my own kids, my husband and my house and sometimes I'd rather just sit in a sunbeam and read a book and drink some tea. However, that's not the season of life I am in. I am in the "crazy, run like a mad woman, give it everything you've got season."

That's probably all I have to say about my "gap". I'm just going to carry on from where I'm at currently.

Blogging FAIL

I have a 35 minute commute. It's longer if there's construction or, if drivers are being dumb. Usually, I come up with interesting blog posts on my way to or from work. Ideas like:
-teaching the Holocaust now that I'm a mother
-Halloween prep
-temper tantrums
-how hiring out childcare can lead to a more spoiled generation of kids
-students eating crayons (I know - ridiculous)
-Claire turning into a little girl
-Simon's frogs
-etc., etc., etc.,

Except, when I get home, I get the kids, I make supper (and play), we eat supper, we do dishes, we play, we get ready for bed, we put the kids to bed and we fall, exhausted on the couch. At that point in time, my brain is fried and there are no neurons all fired up and ready for some creative writing. If anything, I may have some energy to mark assignments, bake for daycare, do laundry or pack lunches. Life is full.

There's nothing wrong with this routine. It's a little busy but, many women all over the world do it. It's normal. However, it leaves little time for blogging. Thus, my apologies.

There will be the obligatory Halloween post but, I think the other thoughts swirling around my brain during my commute may be stuck in traffic for a little longer.

Still here

I am still here.
I have 2 post ideas percolating in my head.
I usually just lack the energy to do more then watch TV by the end of my day.
This fall cold is taking it's toll on me.

Giveaways - Linky, Linky

I found a cool blog with some great giveaways. Thanks Colleen
Thought I'd mention the coolest diapers at this site. I hope she picks me.
(Wow! Two posts in one day... must be a hockey game on TV - Go Canada!)

100th Post - A Long-Weekend Mishmash

This morning, as I crawled out of bed late, I realized that my summer was over. I taught 3 days at my inner-city high school and I am tired. I'm trying to wrap my head around how to cook in a very old facility with some pretty wild kidlets. I'm also trying to remember how to do improper/mixed fractions and long division. (Man, I suck at long division).
I love being back to work. I love learning new things and conquering new challenges. I love hanging out with kids. They keep me on my toes! I have no idea how long this subbing gig will go. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrangle a contract out of the School Division (cross fingers ... they are difficult about these sorts of things).
Trevor's off on a long weekend trip with his little brother and dad. They're back-packing through Yoho National Park. I'm a little jealous of his adventure but, I'm also really excited for him. Right now, he should be scrambling some mountain. :) It's weird to have all this time at home without him. I've rented some movies that I know he would never want to watch. Our moms have also taken it upon themselves to make sure I don't have many meals alone. My biggest problem is sleeping. I am startled awake every 3-4 hours wondering where Trevor is. I miss him lots!
This is my 100th post on this blog. I've always been a little curious about who reads this blog besides the lovely Jen, amazing Amanda F., sweet Sue and the notorious Edward. Please de-lurk. I've taken off my anti-anonymous post security just for this blog. Tell me who you are. Thanks!