(For Jen) On Childcare

I love my baby-sitter. She's really the best. I can't say enough good about her. She goes over and above every day for my little people. Currently, she spends 9 hours a day with my kids. That's a crazy amount of time and influence over my sweeties. She teaches manners, good values and is a positive role model.

However, it's not her job to parent my kids. I expect that Trevor and I are still the major sources of moral education for our children. The buck still stops with us. Whatever she needs from us re: discipline, we have her back because we trust her.
When our kids, like normal kids, develop bad attitudes and unruly ways (ex: Claire has developed a new habit of hitting and yelling "hit, hit, hit" when she doesn't get her way or Simon falls on the floor screaming in mid-tantrum) then, it's our job to curtail these behaviors.

Our baby-sitter deals with these + 3 other kidlets and their wild toddler ways. She does an excellent job of managing it all.

But, what if? What if, for the 3 hours a day I spend with my kids, I didn't follow up with discipline? What if I'd rather avoid the big issues because it was just easier to have happy kids all the time? What if I felt guilty for working all day and bought my kids whatever they wanted all the time to appease my guilt? What if I blamed the other kids at the baby-sitter's for my kids behavior instead of taking the responsibility for dealing with it myself? What if I blamed my baby-sitter for the choices my kids make?

You see, I teach many kids whose parents did/are doing just that. In a world where it's becoming more and more necessary for both parents to work full-time, parents are delegating parenting responsibilities to people who only have a short-term interest in their kids' lives. Then, as their children enter a school system where common and healthy values are expected, kids are unsure how to navigate these rules or take responsibility for their actions. Kids make choices but, they need to learn that every decision can have both positive and negative outcomes. Kids need to own their choices and be prepared to then own the outcomes.

I can see how it's easy to slip into the "let's just keep you happy because I'm tired" mode. I have days where I do that. However, I have a group of 14 year-olds who are reminding me why I have to step up as parent. I love my kids too much to let them slide through life being appeased and not carefully taught and corrected.

Is this becoming the norm? Are we, as a culture, allowing the actual parenting of children to fall into the hands of our beloved nannies and babysitters? If this is the case, should we be paying them more and give them higher value in our society? How will this impact this upcoming generation of workers?

I'm just entering the full-time work world as a parent. I don't plan on staying here for long. I want part-time work so that I can teach, love and discipline my babies myself balanced with a healthy dose of the socialization that being baby-sat brings. I want to know what you think. What are your experiences with working while parenting?